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#1:As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.
- Diction- his word choice is pretty straightforward.
- Syntax- No pauses; lack of punctuation
- Imagery/details- uneasy dreams; transformed; gigantic insect
- Structure- sentence is structured so that Gregor is in the process of waking up and finding himself transformed. It is in the past tense but it denotes he discovered it as he woke up. Something like he put his foot out and realized it wasn't a foot.
- Other stylist/figurative elements
#2: Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.
- Diction- like the first one it is straightforward. Less emphatic choice of words than the first sentence.
- Syntax- lack of punctuation, "one morning" and "from uneasy dreams" swaps places
- Imagery/details- uneasy dreams; changed; giant bug.
- Structure- in the past tense again but seems more like he woke up then figured out he changed into a bug after a while. Less drawn out than the other sentences.
- Other stylist/figurative elements- It omits the "in his bed part"; Gregor is now Gregory.
#3:When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.
- Diction- This seems to combine word choice from the first 2 sentences. Changes "uneasy" to "troubled" and "gigantic/giant" to "enormous"; same meaning but kind of gives a different feel to the scene. Connotation is a tad bit more negative, not by much.
- Syntax- lack of punctuation, pretty much the same as the first sentence.
- Imagery/details- troubled dreams and enormous bug makes it seem pretty absurd, unexpected, and dark. "Troubled" is a little more negative than "uneasy"
- Structure- The same as the first sentence except "as" is replaced by "when". Gives it a story-teller vibe.
- Other stylist/figurative elements
- Diction: Word Choice is more severe than the previous sentences.
- Syntax: uses more commas into several short clauses. Drawn out and long.
- Imagery/details- imagery words describes a nightmare -- waking up from agitated dreams ro find oneself a monster. Strikes fear in the heart -- kind of reminds me of J&H because "monstrous" and "agitated" dreams seems like Jekyll transforming in his sleep.
- Structure: Starts with one morning unlike the other sentences. Separating the sentence into parts makes the transformation a little more dramatic.
- Other stylist/figurative elements
The word choice changes the impact the scene makes on the reader and the severity of Gregor's discovery. The words chosen can make the scene very dark and fearful or just strange without the darkness. The sentences that include the "in his bed" part show how everything is good and orderly except... he discovers he's a bug. By omitting the "in his bed" part, the second sentence doesn't really tell us much about the setting, just that it's morning. #2 is the shortest sentence and cuts to the chase. I think it is more underwhelming than the other 3. The diction is pretty drab and only elementary school kids would think it surprising. Its pace is quick and there is not much of a lead-up. He just woke up and was like "oh I'm a bug." The last sentence is the only one that uses a lot of punctuation and I think this stresses the ominous tone as well as describes the transformation in an actually scary way. He's literally a monster, not just a "bug". The pauses are effective when paired with the word choice because it is more suspenseful and leads up to a reveal more so than the other sentences. The lack of punctuation in the other sentences makes it seem kind of matter-of-fact. Like he already knew it was going to happen.
I think #3 and #4 both include more effective imagery words than the first 3. They both describe the transformation as something dreadful while the other 2 don't really attach much of a negative connotation to the insect part. I guess bugs aren't bad or scary fundamentally, we just don't like them. Sentence 3 uses the word "troubled" to describe the dream and "troubled" usually is negative i.e troubled upbringing, troubled teen... very traumatic. So even though he was merely a bug, it still affected his mental, in contrast to "uneasy" which seems somewhat less severe. The best imagery is in #4 I think. I just like "agitated" and "monstrous vermin". Even though "vermin" isn't necessarily the same thing as "bug", we know he transformed into something nasty!! Vermin encompasses more unwanted pests than the simple "bug". It serves to bring kind of a Gothic literature feel, with the monster element and the uncanny... where Gregor is not as he appears. The sentence structure helps because there are so many pauses that once you get to the last part of the sentence it's got some zest. You got the "agitated dreams" foreshadowing something bad and then bam! He's a monster. It's probably significant that each clause adds on more details. It reads kind of like a movie where they don't quickly reveal the whole shot but reveal little by little to keep the viewer intrigued.
There isn't really any way to figure out which text is most effective because they all appeal to different sorts of audiences and there isn't a single interpretation of Gregor's actions to go from. Some make the discovery more suspenseful and some make it more quizzical. Imagery and word choice change the tone a lot because the words used portray him differently in each. He could be scary or just gross. It is difficult reading translated texts because just one sentence can change the characterization or tone of the whole thing. Word choice and punctuation have many variations and who's to say there is one correct way to translate a sentence? So we may never know what the actual text reads like. There are also many words that do not have English equivalents. So there are many limitations based just on language and the meaning conveyed.
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Great response- I was worried when you first started writing about each translation because I felt there was more to say, but you looked critically at the effect, purpose, intention, etc. of translations in the final question. Nice job!
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